In the middle

Being born into a family of high achievers, even when my parents said that they are not expecting perfect from me, I will always feel that everyone (myself included) expects nothing less than perfect. Otherwise I'm just another loser... The rest of you may not be aware of this, but as foreigners we have to pay a huge sum of money in order to study here. Also, it adds to the stress of having to excel, I'm always reminding myself of how much money I'm wasting if I screw up. Looking back, I've spent about 7-8 years studying here, up until now, I have not achieved anything significant at all (I'm didn't score very well for PSLE, I didn't score very well for O's, and now I don't think I am going to score very well for A's); over the years, I didn't win any academic competition, wasn't the best in any respective fields be it academic, cca or athletics even my relationships seems so messed up, I must be a jerk. Looking forward, even after completing A's, I don't think I have any other qualifying documents to help me in one, University admission, two, into the working world. At least, poly students have diplomas. Moreover, I haven't made up my mind on what course to pursue in University, in fact, I haven't have the next few years of my life quite figured out. I always envy and wanna be those people that have most of their life quite figured out, at least they know what they want in their life, and even if some of it doesn't go according to plan, it's okay because that's life. 

Sorry for such a long post, okays anyways I better get back to studying...